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 story and poem attempts

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Bluefox

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Number of posts : 113
Age : 23
Localisation : Colorado,USA
Registration date : 2008-07-15

PostSubject: story and poem attempts   Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:33 pm

Nick was in his room drawing another dragon babyfur picture he named the dragon troy and gave him loving parents named jack and alice."Nick get your butt down here?"said Nicks dad with anger in his vioce like always."coming dad just hold on a second"said Nick throwing all his drawings under his bed he was wearing a old red t-shirt and blue jeans and he is 15 years old.Nick then started running down the stairs he knew what would happen if he never listened to his father."iam here dad looking at his dad what do you whant me to do dad?" said Nick."I whant you to go to the grocery store and buy me more milk it seems were out"said Nicks dad." i wonder why"Nick whispered to him self."What was that"Nicks dad shouted."nothing dad ill do it right away"said Nick.Nick then put on his shoes and opened the door and walked outside to the store to buy his dad some milk.


Last edited by furryfan on Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:30 pm; edited 2 times in total
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kaiskune
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Number of posts : 464
Age : 29
Localisation : UK
Registration date : 2006-10-24

PostSubject: Re: story and poem attempts   Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:00 pm

hooooo boy... where to start...

i dont want to come across rude to off putting but that desperatly needs to be bulked up. its too fast, unbelieveable (im in the uk and even i couldnt get alcohol when i was 15 even if i tried) and there is absolutley no description.

and a little quote from one of the many FTT gramar nazis
"that big button on the right hand side of your key board... its called the enter key...use it"
had that been longer that would have been one huge and very confusing block of text and very difficult ot read. always start a new paragraph when new speakers says something

and one little thing... nothing major but nearly every regession story i read has the same story line, "teenager drawing a babyfur picture-abusive parents-suddenly finds him/herself transformed living their dream" why don't you try a different story line?
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FFF

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Number of posts : 393
Age : 26
Localisation : Royal Mountain... figure it out ;P
Registration date : 2007-05-28

PostSubject: Re: story and poem attempts   Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:37 pm

kaiskune wrote:
Why don't you try a different story line?
It's funny. When I think about it, how come I wasn't bashed to death when I posted my first story that also followed this storyline? Ha ha.

Listen Furryfan, writing is very difficult. I think I already discussed the grammar side of story writing with you before, so I'll focus more on the storyline this time.

Thing is, grammar is something that can be mastered with practice. Sure, it's almost impossible to get perfectly, but to reach an acceptable level just take practice. Now that really hard part of a good story, is, well, the story itself.

The storyline here has been done many times, and I am guilty of that myself. But people have seen it already and they want to have something fresh, something new. That's the really hard part of writing a story, having an engaging and intriguing storyline. Without that, a story is nothing.

To put it into context, I've been trying to write a good story since that first one. So far, I've started writing 12 stories, each one, I had to rewrite the first chapter at least 3 times, the latest one, I've rewritten the first two chapters five times. In the end, none of them made it.

Yes, babyfur stories are difficult to start, because a lot of thoughts are common. If you really want to use this... universal square one plot, then at least try to make it unique in its own way. Especially if you use this storyline, you have to really make it stand out because it's been so overused. In fact, I'd say that this storyline is the most difficult one to write based on because of that exact same reason.

And yes, paragraphs and punctuation are a must! Writing can be very rewarding, but if you write in hopes of getting positive feedback, you have to give people something that they like.

Try reading what other people have written, and not just stories like Kit Fox. Try reading some other ones, and once you have, ask yourself, what makes that story stand out from the rest, or what makes it bland.
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