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 Don't read this! Seriously, it's fucking stupid!

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Chimour

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Number of posts : 691
Age : 23
Localisation : In Denshire Falls playing with Lig, and everyone else!
Registration date : 2009-09-22

PostSubject: Don't read this! Seriously, it's fucking stupid!   Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:50 pm

If you read this expecting a serious story… Prepare to be let down!

(A story I wrote when I was drunk… Cthulu help us all…)

Whap-zap-fappity-doo!!!

It was a quiet day in the city of fuck-it-all as I, an all black vampire bat furry, stood there on the edge of town…

“Where all da pony bitches at?”. I asked, really, REALLY fucking drunk at the moment after having downed an entire fifth of Jagermeister.

“I am the genie of teh lolz… Ask me any stupid fucking question you want, and receive a prize!”. A blue mother-fucker said as he appeared before me,

“What is the meaning of pingas?”. I asked, too drunk to honestly give a flying fuck.

“Congratulations! You’re obviously fucking retarded, so here, have this golden dildo, with which you can bang a totally babe-licious goddess”. The genie said, obvious high off of some other kind of substance himself.

“YAY! I wish to bang the fuck out of Hera, the wife of Zeus!”. I yelled out, and then suddenly… I died.



I awoke in a land filled with un-flattering pictures of Samuel L. Jackson, mentally asking myself why all this mother-fucking stupid was in this mother-fucking story!

Oh and also I found myself in a rather full diaper, but really… That’s normal for me.

“Aaaaw… Look at da cute widdwe PINGAS!”. Shouted an un-known baby-fur fan girl.

“Think I’m cute?”. I asked, jumping rope with a rope made of the ovaries of virgins.

“Yeah! … If not completely retarded…”. She said, shaking her head at how dumb I was acting.

“Well… This story was written by a drunken eighteen year old male who has a very fucked up sense of humor…”. I said, totally breaking the fourth-wall.

“Ah… It all makes sense suddenly!”. The goddess laughed, personally diapering me, the author, up as a form of punishment! (Jokes on her, I like diapers!)

And then what happened next was… Well let us just say that not even I am fucked up enough to say what happened next…

LOL SEXY TIMES IS FUNNY!!!

Anyway about four hours afterwards I finally started to sober up, and then realize that I had written probably the dumbest story in the history of ever… And now you just read it!!!


GOOD FOR YOU!!! =D


Last edited by Chimour on Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chimour

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Number of posts : 691
Age : 23
Localisation : In Denshire Falls playing with Lig, and everyone else!
Registration date : 2009-09-22

PostSubject: Re: Don't read this! Seriously, it's fucking stupid!   Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:57 pm

Yeah guys... I haven't written anything in awhile, but don't worry since I am working on a story right now ^^

Also do you want to see me continue this dumbest story ever? I mean if I do atleast you'll get to see more of my writing, ya know minus the logical sense, and all.
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Lig
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Number of posts : 11138
Age : 28
Localisation : Pensalvania USA
Registration date : 2006-10-15

PostSubject: Re: Don't read this! Seriously, it's fucking stupid!   Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:09 pm

XD It was a pretty funny read and brought a smile to my face so I say if there's more to write for this than go on ahead. I shall follow the path of madness with a drink in my hand. A Pepsi actually but oh well. ^^

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Chimour

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Number of posts : 691
Age : 23
Localisation : In Denshire Falls playing with Lig, and everyone else!
Registration date : 2009-09-22

PostSubject: Re: Don't read this! Seriously, it's fucking stupid!   Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:44 pm

DRUNK AGAIN!!! ... Well, no, I just never sobered up X3.

Anyways I was still rather stinky, wondering off from that random fan-girl, and hoping that maybe the next female I ran into would know how to change a diaper before fucking my brains out... Then I ran into a gaggle of faeries.

"OH MY GOD! DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS?!?!". The name-less faeries asked, gagging on the fumes that came from my dirty diaper.

"...No?". I asked, blushing a little due to their vastly negative reaction.

"LIAR! YOU TOTALLY SHAT YOUR PANTS! ... I MEAN MY GOD MAN, THAT IS JUST SO GROSS!!!". The faeries screamed, me just turning my messy bottom to them as a result.

"Oh yeah? ... You forget that this story doesn't follow the laws of good story telling!". I said, pooping some more, even though realistically speaking my bowels should have been completely empty by now.

"CURSE YOU!!! CURSE YOU WITH THE CURSE OF THE WITCHES!". The faeries screamed, everyone of them fainting due to the fumes.

"HEY I LIKE STRAWBERRY ALARM CLOCK, SO FUCK YOU!!! ... AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!". I screamed, sick and tired of this sacrilegious treatment of good music.


...

So dissatisfied with the treatment I was receiving I left, leaving the faeries to their smelly doom before venturing off to find the mallet of efficient diaper changings! It was a long hard journey, I having to punch many old people in the face to get ahead of the line (The line to the diaper-changing mallet was mostly comprised of old people), and well... That's where I found Zap Branigan who apparently was a closet infantilist!!!

"Da fuq you doing here?". I asked, wondering why he wasn't busy taking over a planet of weaklings, and why he wasn't making it out to be some kind of great heroic feat to the public media of earth as he always did.

"I um... ... I'm uh changing this diaper for Kiff! It's actually his diaper you know, I just thought by wearing it it would be easier to carry around!". Zap said before I soon, kicked him in the padded nuts.

"Back of the line asshole...". I said, grabbing Zap by the collar of his shirt as I soon hurled him towards the back of the line.

"Next... ... OH GOOD GOD!". The mallet of diaper changing cried out, looking me over to see just how full my diaper was.

"Can't change it?". I asked.

"Son... You would need a rectal exorcist to change that diaper". The mallet said.

"Oh well at least I know who to look for now!". I said, cheerfully making my way off to where-ever I'd fine a rectal exorcist...
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