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 Kidnapped

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Rhuka

Rhuka


Number of posts : 399
Age : 34
Localisation : Ohio
Registration date : 2007-01-24

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PostSubject: Kidnapped   Kidnapped Icon_minitimeFri Mar 09, 2007 2:15 pm

i got the idea from the kidnapped rp in the TB section, i just need some idead on how to end it so read it and tell me what you think of it.
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Rhuka

Rhuka


Number of posts : 399
Age : 34
Localisation : Ohio
Registration date : 2007-01-24

Kidnapped Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kidnapped   Kidnapped Icon_minitimeFri Mar 09, 2007 2:16 pm

This is a story about me, but before I get into it, let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I am a sixteen year old werewolf. I have black fur and blue eyes. I lived with my parents, who hated me, and had very poor grades in school.
One day I was walking home from school and all of the sudden I feel a heavy hit on the back of my head and I blacked out. That is all I remember up to this point. “What the hell?” I say as I open my eyes to see bars on my side. I slowly sit up only to hear a loud crinkling sound. I look around me and see nothing with the exception of the giant crib I was laying in. I look down only thinking one thing, “Why the hell am I wearing a diaper?” a tigress walks in and notices me panicking. “Who are you, and where am I?” I ask. She politely says, “Why, you are at home with your mommy. Is the little puppy upset?”
“Damn strait I’m upset, I get knocked out on my way home, then I wake up in a crib wearing a diaper! What the hell is going on?” I yell at her. “I am giving you a second chance at life, a new home, a new family.” She says firmly. “I’m getting the hell out of here you crazy bitch.” She quickly grabs a hold of me and throws me over her lap and spanks me twenty times. “OOUCH!” I yell. “Now will you be a good little puppy and do what mommy says?” she hands me a bottle of milk and im so damned thirsty I didn’t care if I was drinking from a baby bottle at the time. “So why the diapers, im sixteen I don’t need them.”
She points down to the diaper im wearing, “obviously you do. The little puppy had an accident.” I look at the bottle, then down to my now sagging diaper, then back to the bottle. I notice a white powdery residue on the bottle and throw it. “YOU DRUGGED ME, YOU CRAZY BITCH!”
My stomach began to hurt real bad so I crouch down and hold my stomach. “W-what, the h-hell, did you, d-do to, m-me?” All of a sudden I mess myself, I had accidentally shit my pants. “Little puppy needs to wear his diapers because he cant control himself.” She giggles.
She kidnaps me, puts me in a diaper, drugs me to where I have no control over my bowels and bladder, and she expects me to act if I was a little baby. “What the hell is your problem lady?” she shoves a pacifier into my mouth and I begin to suck on it. Slowly calming down I am subdued into a relaxed state.
she puts me up on a table and begins to change my diaper. I think to myself, this cant be all too bad, then I realize, she is trying to regress me into a baby, I still have a life, it sucks but it is still my life. I spit out the pacifier. “WHOA, wait a minute.” I say as she finished strapping on the diaper, “Why am I here, so I can be your little baby?”
“But you are my little baby, Leo.” She says in a calm voice. “you expect me to be a big baby, wear diapers, and baby clothes, drink from a bottle and shit like that? How did you know my name?”
“You will do things like that.” She pulls out a pair of baby pajamas and tries to slip me into them. I back away from her “Are you crazy? im not a fucking baby.” She grabs me up and spanks me again. “OUCH, THAT SHIT REALLY HURTS!” “do what I say and be a good little puppy and I wont have to do that anymore.” My choices have been lain out before me, I can just go with it for a while and let her regress me, or I can fight back and have one sore ass.
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kaiskune
Admin
kaiskune


Number of posts : 464
Age : 35
Localisation : UK
Registration date : 2006-10-24

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PostSubject: Re: Kidnapped   Kidnapped Icon_minitimeFri Mar 09, 2007 3:09 pm

ok... a classic storyline what usually goes really well. sorry but you have kinda killed it.

its too fast paced it like "oh no im in a daiper... now im being told whats happened, now im expected to act like a baby, oh oww oww im being spanked ill be good ill be good!"

sorry to put it so bluntly but you need to build it up... explain the situation. the location even the forcing caretakers descripton. always think... new character new description

"im a 16 year old warewolf emo" doesnt work for me or alot of others. give extra descriptions
for example using my fursona
"he was a young fox boi, eyes as blue as the ocean as they saw him fully they swore he was a girl. the cutest face looked back at them a little catlike nose glinting over the slight blush of his face his hair a light brown thats shimmered in the sunlight. his 2 catish ears pure as snow poked though his brown mass of hair like 2 icebergs breaking muddy water... as he turned away his thin and inviting body was often mistaken for a girl as he walked along his white fox tail swaying to his movement."

a very rough description but as you can see. you should be able to build up a picture from that

so to sum it all up
describe
explain
plan

sorry to have hurt you if i did.. but if you posted it on FTT i could garuntee mugi or someone else would either say the same thing or worse


Last edited by on Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kaiskune/
Rhuka

Rhuka


Number of posts : 399
Age : 34
Localisation : Ohio
Registration date : 2007-01-24

Kidnapped Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kidnapped   Kidnapped Icon_minitimeFri Mar 09, 2007 3:13 pm

this is more so the rough draft than the actua story, but you have a point it is pretty fast paced, ill re write it some time and get it to be better, thax for the input
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Rhuka

Rhuka


Number of posts : 399
Age : 34
Localisation : Ohio
Registration date : 2007-01-24

Kidnapped Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kidnapped   Kidnapped Icon_minitimeFri Mar 09, 2007 7:46 pm

here is the revised version of the story, still a work in progress, pretty set out to end, but i will find a way to keep it going a few more pages or so.



This is a story about me, but before I get into it, let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I am a sixteen year old werewolf. I have black fur and blue eyes. I lived with my parents, who hated me, and had very poor grades in school. My sociality was pretty pathetic, I was a smoker and I sometimes drank, but I did all of this pretty much alone. I have very few friends and they could care less if something happened to me or not. My brother wanted nothing to do with me, he was too preoccupied with his booty calls.
One day I was walking home from school and I felt like I was being watched.
It felt like some one was following me, but there was no one there. I looked behind me every few seconds and saw nothing. “How’s it going jackass?” I looked back and saw one of my friends walking behind me. “Something wrong Leo?” he asks me. I look around and back to him. “you ever have the feeling that you are being watched but no one is there?” he just stares at me dumbfounded. “What the hell is your problem Leo, The only ones here are me and you.” Still staring at me like I was a psycho. “Why do you keep staring at me like that man? You are making me feel weird.” I start to get a little uneasy with our conversation. “You are talking like a crazy ass paranoid person. Well, this is my stop so see you later and I hope you feel better dude.”
I still feel like some one is watching me as I keep heading for home. “Man I’m hungry.” I decide to stop at McDonalds to grab a sandwich. As I head to the door for the restaurant I hear a car pull up behind me. I start to look back and all of the sudden I black out.
“Damn, my head hurts.” I say as I wake up. I open my eyes to see only bars around me. Am I in some sort of cage? I sit up and hear a loud crinkling sound. I looked around to see a bunch of things that looked if they belonged in a baby’s room.
I see a table set against the wall with two shelves under it. The shelves had diapers, wipes, and some baby powder on them. Other than the table I saw a wardrobe closet that was held wide open. It had some baby pajamas, and other baby clothes in it.
What the hell is going on? Where the hell am I? is this a dream? These are all questions running through my head right now. I continue to look around and notice a corner full of stuffed animals and in the other corner a bookshelf full of books that would probably be read to a baby.
A tigress walks in and see’s that I am awake. “How’s the little baby doing, does he need a diaper change?” she asks me. “Diaper, what the hell are you….” I look down only to notice I am wearing nothing but a diaper. This lady must be crazy as hell, she knocks me out at McDonalds, kidnaps me, takes me to this bizarre ass place, and stuffs me in a diaper.
“WHERE THE FUCK AM I AND WHY THE HELL AM I WEARING A DIAPER?” I am furious, I got other things to do rather than be sitting in a room wearing diapers. “Why you are at home with your mommy.” She says. Mommy, I have a mother and she sure as hell isn’t my mother. “What the hell are you talking about?” I jump out of the crib waiting for an explanation on what the hell was going on.
She just stares at me. “Does the little puppy need an attitude adjustment?” what the hell is she talking about. “What I need is an explanation on why you took me from my life and brought me to this crazy ass place.” She must be slow or at least trying to piss me off. It was working, I am furious.
She seemed to calm down and get ready to tell me something. “your life sucked. Nobody seemed to care for you, you seemed depressed and down. I made the decision to take you here so you can live a new life. Start over from the beginning.” Ok so what she is saying is she has been stalking me, watching my life as if I were some sort of sitcom on Saturday night. She is insane.
“So why the hell did you choose me and not some other lonely depressed guy? Why am I being treated as if I were two?” now that I am a little more settled down I am able to receive an explanation more clearly.
“You, Leo….” “Wait, you even know my name, how long have you been watching me?” she seemed angry for interrupting her. “As I was saying, you were the least cared for person I had ever seen. I want to make your life better, you no longer have to worry about responsibilities, or struggling to get good grades in high school. You don’t even have to worry about making it to the bathroom before you have an accident.”
“Ok, so, you are one crazy ass bitch, and I am out of here, I have a life, you cant just take me away from it and make me your little pet.” I begin to head for the door. She stands up real fast and grabs a hold of me. “What the hell are you doing, get your hands off of me.”
She throws me over her lap and begins to whack my ass with her hand. “The little baby needs an attitude adjustment, he needs to learn not to be so naughty to his mommy.” Is this arousing for her or what, she is beating my ass as if she was my crazy ass father.
“Damn it, that hurts. Don’t ever do that kind of shit again. I am not your kid.” She offers me a bottle of milk, I am so damned parched I didn’t even care about it being in a baby bottle so I drank it. Soothed by the taste of the milk I begin to calm down and I take a seat on the floor. She walks over and checks the diaper I am wearing to see if I wet or messed. Still drinking from the bottle I didn’t even resist.
I suddenly realize what the hell is going on, “Whoa, I am not a baby, I am not going to stay here wearing diapers and drinking from a bottle.” She goes over to the door and opens it widely. “Fine, if you are going to leave, then just leave.” She begins to shed a tear as I start for the door.
Damned emotions, damn sympathy. I walk over to her and open a conversation in a calm voice. “What’s wrong with you?” she looks to me still sobbing, “All I want is some one to take care of, just a little baby of my own. I have absolutely no one here for me, I am all alone, just like you.” My stomach begins to hurt real badly. “What the hell, what was in that bottle?” I crouch down onto the floor and hold my stomach. After a few seconds I accidentally relieve myself in my diaper. “I just wet and messed myself. You drugged me.” My stomach in to much pain to stand up she picks me up and takes me over to the table with the two shelves on it.
She quits sobbing, “You will stay here with me forever.” She says as she changes my diaper. “You no longer have control over your bladder or bowel so now you need to wear the diapers I put you in.” damn it, I’m dependent on diapers now.
“Just because I’m dependent on diapers doesn’t mean I’m going to stay here with you.” She flips me over and begins to whack me again. “What the hell?” my ass is going to be so sore I won’t be able to sit for a week.
“If you are going to be a bad little boy then you will be punished for what you do wrong. If you want the spanking to stop you will listen to what I say.”
What the fuck? I thought to myself while I was rubbing my sore ass. This person is crazy, she is so pathetic, she needs to kidnap some one just to make her happy, and it just so happens I’m the lucky fuck who got chosen.
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Rhuka

Rhuka


Number of posts : 399
Age : 34
Localisation : Ohio
Registration date : 2007-01-24

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PostSubject: Re: Kidnapped   Kidnapped Icon_minitimeMon Mar 12, 2007 5:36 pm

I just stand there thinking of how I could possibly get the hell out of here, maybe I could wait until the night and pretend I’m asleep, and wait for her to go to bed and find my way out of here. That just might work. “fine, I will be good.” I say to her as she slowly cools down from being so tensed up. “that’s a good little puppy” she says as she pets my head. I want to smack her fucking hand away, but it was better than getting spanked so hard my ass goes numb.
She walks out of the room and closes the door behind her. I just sit there, waiting for her to come back. A few minutes later after I waited, she walks in with a small cart that looked like she got it from a hospital. “feeding time, little baby.” She says as she pulls out a bottle full of some pink liquid, and some baby food. “Get in the chair so mommy can feed you.” She says as she points over to a highchair sitting in the corner of the room. A highchair? Is she serious? I think this is going a little too far if you ask me.
I just stand there looking at her with my arms crossed. I don’t know what I should do, I could refuse and get spanked, or I can just jump in the chair and take this punishment. Like I said, I don’t know what to do.
She begins to walk over to me, and the only thing I can think of is that she is going to spank me again. That shit hurts. I decided I am going to go jump in the chair before she whacks me again. So I run over to the chair and try to undo the top, but it doesn’t want to come off. I keep struggling to lift off the top until she comes over and opens it for me.
Not wanting to get hit again, I jump up into the chair and lift up my arms so she can put the top back on. I feel so much like a dominated, pathetic, loser. She opens up a jar of the baby food and pulls out a small rubber tipped spoon. She dips the spoon into the jar, pulling out a nice sized spoonful of the baby food and starts to bring it towards my mouth. “Here comes the choo-choo.” She says in a babifieing voice.
What the hell, am I like the all American baby now? I still don’t know what to do. I neglect the first try and she begins to get pissed off. She tries again, again after she knows I will probably not cooperate “Here comes the airplane.” She says as she goes in for another try. Once again, I neglect the food and refuse to eat it.
“I am not going to eat baby food, give me something real to eat why don’t you?” I say as she sets the spoon back into the jar. “Babies can’t eat real food. And you are a baby.” She said in a pissed off tone of voice. “Now eat it!” she shoves the spoon in front of my mouth and being scared of what she will do, I lean in to take a bite. “Wow, that actually isn’t too bad.” I say as I actually admire the turkey flavored custard. I eat a single jar of the food and she then hands me a bottle.
If I wasn’t scared of being hit again, I would just walk out and throw the bottle at her. I’m going to have to wait until later tonight to get out of this shit. Come on man, you got to hang in there. I take the bottle and begin to drink from it as she removes the lid off of the highchair.
I hope bedtime is next, I really do. She goes over to a cabinet on the other side of the room and pulls something out. “Mommy has to go somewhere for a while, I will be back soon.” She holds a small hook and let’s go of the rest of the item. It rolled out to be, “A baby jumper!? You can’t be serious?” I am extremely aggravated now. She hangs the jumper off of something in the ceiling of the room and walks over to the wardrobe.
“Let mommy put you in your pajamas so you won’t get cold.” I guess some clothes would be nice, it is a little drafty in here. I walk over to her and she begins to dress me in a gloved and footed sleeper. I fully cooperated on this one, being half naked makes me feel a little self conscious. “Let’s get you up in your jumper now.”
She picks me up, man is she strong. I mean I only weigh about a hundred and forty pounds but still, she could pick me up? She sets me down in the jumper while I was still holding the bottle of milk. She leaves me be, and walks out of the room and closes the door.
I’m beginning to wonder why she leaves the door open while she is in here but closes it when she leaves. I guess I have to sit here in this jumper until she gets back, and that might be a while, so I begin to doze off in the jumper. About an hour or so after I fall asleep I hear a door open. “I’m back my little puppy.” She says as she walks in.
She comes over and lifts me out of the jumper and unzips my pajamas. I hate being dressed and undressed. It makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I can’t do anything for myself. She looks at the wetness detector on the front of my diaper, and checks the back to see if I shit myself, well I don’t think I did, unless I’m not really sweating from the diaper and pajamas.
“The little puppy needs a diaper change, doesn’t he?” she says as she walks me over to the changing table. This time, instead of just changing me, she decides to fuck with me. She begins to play with my shitty ass. She begins to rub the shit all around and fuck with me. I quickly back her hands off and she begins to get pissed.
She walks over to the cabinet and takes a couple of things out of there. “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SHIT?” she pulls out a few bondage gadgets. She walks over to me and sets the gadgets on the table then picks me up and sets me down for a change, or at least that was what I thought.
This time she just takes off my diaper and wipes my ass down. She then puts a leg spreader on me and a pair of leather bracers, the bondage cuff things. She then put a collar around my neck and a pacifier with a strap attached in my mouth. I am pretty much all tied up, NAKED!
“The little puppy is in need of some punishment, but this time I won’t spank your cute little ass.” She walks me over to a bar, it looked a lot like a chin up bar, kind of like the ones you see at the gym. She pulls out a chain and locks my wrists up to it. I look over to the right and she has one of those enema bags in her hands. She shoves the tip up my ass and hangs the bag from the bar. I was standing over a towel with a big metal tip shoved up my ass.
The liquid quickly went into my system and she pulls the tip out of my ass and brings me back to the changing table. She laid me up on the table and puts not one, but two diapers on me and then stands me back up. Ok so she has me tied up, what is she going to do now? She pulls out a longer chain and hangs my arms off of a hook in the ceiling. Oh shit, I am starting to shit myself, and it is all watery like shit too. She sits there and watches me shit in my diapers like there was no tomorrow.
After about ten minutes of shitting myself she comes over to me and starts pushing the mess all around my ass and crotch. I felt weird having my shit being sent back up my ass crack. She closed her hand down on the shit in the diaper a few times then started to rub it all in my ass. After about twenty minutes of torture, she finally quits rubbing the shit in my ass, but I looked over to her and I figured out that it isn’t over yet. She was holding a big paddle in her hand. She comes over to me and starts to hit me in the ass with the paddle, making the mess even worse. After about ten minutes of the paddle she is finally finished with torturing me like this.
“Now I am going to leave you in here by yourself for half an hour so you can think about how naughty you have been.” What the hell. She was leaving me all tied up in a messy ass diaper, FOR HALF AN HOUR! I am not one to cry for anything, but I am crying right now, why was I chosen to be punished like this, why me?
After a half an hour she walks back in and releases me from all the bondage gear. “Is my little puppy going to be good now?” she says as she taps my ass. I just take the punishment and say, yes I say “yes mommy.” I feel so damn pitiful, pathetic, and worthless even saying that.
She takes me over to the changing table and changes me out of the diapers I was wearing. She didn’t put one or two diapers on me this time though. She put five of them on me, FIVE FUCKING THICK ASS DIAPERS! “Why am I wearing five diapers?” I ask as I begin to sit up and the diapers begin to spread my legs apart. “Stand up and we will get you ready for bed.” She says as she helps me off the table. Damn, my legs can’t close or nothing, she doesn’t want me to be able to hold it or something.
She dresses me in some of the same pajamas she put me in earlier, and the five diapers I am wearing really show through. She helps me into the crib I first woke up in and gives me a pacifier to suck on until I fall asleep. I pretend to fall asleep, just like I had planned out earlier. She leaves the room and closes the door. She dimmed down the lights so I could fall asleep easier.
I hear another door open and then close, so I jump out of the crib and slowly begin to waddle to the door. When I finally reach the door I look for a handle. “WHAT THE FUCK?! NO DAMNED HANDLE?!” there is no handle to the door from the inside, you can only open it from the outside. I am stuck here forever. My life has been ruined, I am nothing but a fucking baby now
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Tykari

Tykari


Number of posts : 4489
Age : 36
Registration date : 2006-11-05

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PostSubject: Re: Kidnapped   Kidnapped Icon_minitimeTue Mar 13, 2007 10:42 am

not bad, not bad at all leo
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