Jokes and Comedy Skits

tell some of funny ones yo uknow

On a cruise ship was a magican and his parrot, this magician loved the parrot but one day ed him off by revealing his secrets. During teh act the parrot would say...Ruykkk its in his sleeve....ryukkk its in his hat and teh magician got po'd and pulled out apistol tried to shoot teh bird and missed hitting a tank blwoing teh ship up and teh only survivors were the magician and teh parrot and the parrot says..Ok I give up, where's the ship?

There was a pirate and his crew out in teh middel of teh sea and one day the steward was in the crow's nest and said "Captian, one enemy ship on the horizon" the captian goes "Bring me my red shirt" The captian puts it on and a battle goes on for teh whole day and they don't lose a man and teh steward then asks "why you ask for a red shirt?" the captian responds "so if I got shot nobody would notice teh and keep fighting." Teh next day the steward is up in teh crow's nest again and says "Captian, 20 enemy ship son the horizon." The captian responds "Bring me my brown pants."

LOL. So I take it you saw those Blue collar comedy tour shows on comedey central or Bill Engral's new stand up thing huh. Nice.

lol they rule!!!

What's the difference between a canoe and jew? The canow will eventually tip lol (hope no one is offended)

Carlos Mansia. And it's this.

"Whats the diffrence between a Jew and a Canew? The Canew will eventually get there." LOL. I love that show.

Why don't old people have ? Ever try to pull back a grilled cheese sandwich?

ok this man rides into town on friday stays for three days and leaves on friday. solve it.

Friday is the name of his horse.

did i tell this one before in im?

No. I've heard if before I think but not from you.

k

Lol hears a joke

There is a , burnette, and a red head all jumping of the building. Which one hits teh ground last?

red head? i dunno why but dats my geuss

The blonde...she had to ask for directions

lol

One day, I was walking by and someone asked me if I went out and I told him that I did. He asked me if I put the cat out. I told him, "I didn't know the cat was on fire."

Last Night I went elephant hunting in my pajamas. What an elephant was doing in my pajama's, I'll never know*Eyebrow waggle*

theres two guys in a bar watching the news of someone standing on top of a building about to jump off

the bartender goes to a guy sitting at the bar and makes a bet with him that the guy will jump

the other bets he wouldnt jump.

the man in the news ends up jumping and the man pays the bartender.

the bartender feeling guilty returns the money and admits that it was a replay of the report and knew he would jump

the other guy said he saw the report too

the bartender asked why he bet the guy wouldnt jump

the guy replies, "i didnt think he'd jump off again"

Suddenly, we came upon a beautiful pool. I raised my weapon and I shot it. It was an 8 ball in the side pocket.

I am not sure if I'm supposed to double post here or not, but I can't risk it, but I have to show you this in order to keep this part of the site alive.

So, Lig asked Joey to do this week's number crunching on this week's member viewing and when he got done, Lig asked why is the are there toothmarks on the number 20. Joe replied, "I thought there was any chocolate covered on it."

Then, Lig thought, 'And to think we were hoping for a sweeter part of the deal.'