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 My Brother Geordie

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The Sleeping Fox

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Number of posts : 129
Age : 28
Registration date : 2007-06-03

PostSubject: My Brother Geordie   Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:51 am

My Goodness,

I've been gone for way too long, and it would appear that I might be lacking in some areas of creativity, so I thought I might come back with a whole new story...YAY!

Anywho, Here's my story,


Chapter One

“A New Home”



Snow fell silently that night, blanketing the small, forgotten town of St. Valor in a light layer of white powder. The townspeople bustled to get to their homes and out of the cold, two or three stray dogs roamed the streets in search of shelter, and the cry of a single bird echoed and lingered on the cold night air.

“Three days,” he thought to himself, “I’ve been traveling for three days, in a car with two other people; just to get to some middle of nowhere countryside town.”

The boy looked over at his baby brother who was nodding off under his favourite blanket, which was good, because he hadn’t slept in a day.

“Topher,” asked the boy’s father, “are you still awake?”

Topher’s father, Marius, was a middle-aged Fox. He had dark brown head fur, always perfectly coiffed, lengthened chin fur that gave him the effect of a goatee, and had always been very strong. His fur was a pale red, with black on his paws. A blotch of cream coloured fur ran down his mid section and he was almost always wearing an all black suit. He was never very sure of himself as a father, especially since their mother passed away. Since her death, he buried himself deeper in his work, and never really was the same. None of them were.

“Topher…we’re here.”
“Where?” Topher said tired and groggy.
“St. Valor…our new home.”

From what Topher could see under the dim light of cast iron street lamps, the town was actually nice, beautiful even. He remembered the first time his father told him they were moving to St. Valor. He begged and pleaded but his father would always reply “it is for the good of all of us;” which meant it was for work. The boy’s father was always worried about making money to support them. Fatherhood didn’t come naturally; from what he could remember, it had always been that way.

They pulled up to a large two storey grey stone house. It seemed to have been well lived in and taken care of over the years. The house, like the town felt old and wise, like there were stories to be told and secrets to be kept. Topher opened the car door, and a cold gust of wind swept into the warm interior.

“Topher, carry Geordie inside and up into the bedroom,” his father said as if he were ordering him to do it.

Topher is a ten-year-old fox. Though not even a teenager, he had to grow up fast and independent since the loss of his mother. His physical appearance, like his personality, was different then most, particularly his fathers. He has vibrant ice blue eyes. His Head fur was is pure white like the rest of his body except for the patches of brown that covered part of him. He is kind, generous, and seldom fights for himself, but when it comes to protecting others, he’s fierce.

Geordie although nothing like him, looked a lot like their father. He was shy and dependent on his brother to protect him. At two and a half years old, he is bright, but small for his age. Although Geordie is years younger than Topher, he’s always trying to act like his older brother.

Topher got out of the car, adjusting the thick padding of his diaper underneath his khaki cargo pants. The diapers were his Father’s idea of good parenting; they were sort of a punishment because he was always in so much trouble, with school, his family, but especially Geordie.

The young fox went around the other side of the car and picked up Geordie who was still wrapped snugly in his blanket. As he walked up the steps with his younger brother in his arms he looked at the house almost studying it. He saw where the ivy, although now withered, had slowly climbed up the house, where the old tenant had done some patchwork with some of the bricks at the front, and where birds had previously made their nests in the gutters.

He walked up the cobblestone walkway leading to the house. It was sturdy although it was old and some of the stones paved into it stuck out too far. After nearly tripping three times he entered the house and saw that everything was already in place. Obviously his father’s work had paid for people to set up the house before we got there. The entrance hall where Topher had now removed his shoes was very homey, it walls were a light cream colour with a lower mahogany paneling and like the rest of the house, it was very well kept. It was long and lead straight into the kitchen. To the left was an entrance into the living room, and to the close right was a set of stairs that lead to the second floor. He walked into the living room and noticed that his father was already started working on his computer.

“Goodnight,” Topher said waiting for a response. None came.

Topher quietly made his way up the stairs. With every step he took the hard oak stairs creaked. The flooring upstairs was made to match the stairs, and the hallways walls resembled the entrance hall exactly. At the end of the hall was a large brown door that shut from view the master bedroom. To his right was a small closet that blended into the wall, and beside it was the doorway to the bathroom. To Topher’s immediate right was the door his and Geordie’s new bedroom. Topher fumbled with the doorknob and finally opened the door; he entered the new room that he and his brother would share. Topher found the room rather large, he noticed that his bed was near the window and that Geordie’s crib was closest to the door. He put Geordie into the light blue crib, it’s linens were covered in pictures of cute cartoon animals; it had a teddy bear painted on the headboard. Topher moved across the room and sat on the edge of his bed his eyes scanning the room.

It was set up just like his old room only everything was spread out more. The walls were the same colour as the rest of the house. Various posters hung from the walls surrounding the new cherry stained oak bed. On the roof above his forest green bed covers hung a large poster of his favourite band, “Ethereal.” Off in the opposite corner of the room on his small shelf was a television with built in DVD and on the lover shelf was his game station in which he spent countless hours trying to beat “Moon Tear,” his favourite game. Beside the shelf was his closet, the door was open and a large package of diapers peaked out of it. Nearby was his dresser, but after that it was Geordie’s territory. Beside Geordie’s crib was a matching change table. Not far from the Nightstand was a Multicoloured toy box; with shelves hanging overhead that displayed the younger brother’s most prized possessions that included a stuffed rabbit, and bright red ball with a star in the middle of it, and a family portrait.

After Topher was finished examining his new room he undressed and fell back onto his bed. The boy had both nervous and excited thoughts shooting through his head as he drifted off to sleep wondering what tomorrow would hold and imagining what his new school would be like. He slowly faded off into a deep sleep.



Chapter Two

“The Next Day”

The next day Topher woke to the sound of a strange woman’s voice.

“Topher…wake up Topher,” the voice said.

When he opened his eyes he saw a young lady in his room. She appeared to be around the age of twenty, and was dressed in a maid’s uniform. Still a little dazed, Topher wondered why this strange lady was in his room. In the boy’s shyness he pulled the covers over his head.

“Now Topher,” the woman said to him in a stern but kind manner, “if you don’t get up you’re going to be late for your first day of school.”
“Who…who are you?” Topher asked, “Why are you in my room?”
“OH!” She sounded surprised, “How rude of me.” “I am Annabelle Fluerette,” she answered with a curtsey. “I am the nanny your father hired to care for you and your brother.” “Did he not explain this to you?”
“No…” Topher replied still a little confused as he listened to the young woman.

She had a wonderful voice and Annabelle was an extremely beautiful young Ocelot. She is nineteen years old, and always spoke so politely to other people. Which didn’t really matter, because her charming French accent, and long curly head fur, which sometimes fell across her deep blue eyes, would have distracted most people.

“Now Topher, you should get up, and get ready for school,” she said smiling as she pulled the covers off… “And you are in a diaper?”

Topher blushed deeply as he realised hat this new woman had just seen him in his a wet diaper.

“Have you been bad?” she asked him,
“But how-
“Your father at least informed me about you.” She replied, “now get up, you should not be late.”

Topher got up and left his room; he headed towards the bathroom. Before he could open the door, his father stepped out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, which exposed the large scarring that, covered most of his back and neck.

Topher cringed at this sight.

He couldn’t stand seeing his father’s scars it always brought back bad memories. Topher expelled the image from his mind and continued to get ready for school.

Fifteen minutes later after Topher changed his diaper he went down stairs and entered the kitchen. It was very old fashioned, and with an island in the middle of the cooking area, it almost looked classy. The walls were the same colour as the rest of the house,

Geordie smiled once he saw his older brother. Topher looked around the room. Annabelle was preparing their lunches for school, his father was already at work, and Geordie was finishing up breakfast, which appeared to be some sort of soggy cereal.

After Geordie had finished his breakfast Topher helped him put on his pale blues snowsuit, Then Annabelle handed him his and Geordie’s lunches.

“Come now,” Annabelle said as she put on her coat, “I will bring you to school.”



Keep in mind that the story will become more involved a the chapters go on, and I might be a little rusty...

Thanks for reading,

- The Sleeping Fox
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Poco

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Number of posts : 856
Localisation : High in the Rocky Mountains
Registration date : 2007-03-11

PostSubject: Re: My Brother Geordie   Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:32 pm

Not a bad start. The only thing I noticed was that you switched from past to present tense when describing your characters. Otherwise, I like it! Your scenery description is very vivid, it helps 'set the stage' so to speak.
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