kirus random thought page

Ummm...Kiru? You'd never hold me back...just I hate to let people down, really I do, but I have a mate... I'm sorry...

I still want to remain good friends, I hide nothing from you, and I'd still answer any questions you had about anything (maybe an rp if ya asked ^.^) but I don't wanna get anyone mad, so that's all it can be for now...I'm sorry

alright, im closing this discusion then. thanks zan ( i acualy mean it) i feel less tense and i can clear my mind easier, and maybe its best this way... so i can go back to what fate has instore for me, instead of trying to make my own decisions ( i was never a good planner anyway)

Will you at least stay in touch with us...or me at least?

yes

I'm a lil confused. Your still staying on the site right? Cuz I'd miss ya if ya left and we just started getting into some good RPs.

I believe that we all will miss you Kiru if you not stay on.^_^

yes ill stay, i just need to do my alternative (see while other kids cut themselves, i paw off [sorry for being crude])

You was just getting something out of your system. It is perfectly ok. Everyone gets into those type of moods.^_^

Good I'm glad your staying. *Huggles ya.* Hey crudeness is fine with me. Hehehehehe.

*nodnods* Yeah, I agree, hehehehe

* goes to a diffrent and huddles in a corner and stares off to space *

i accidently pooped my diaper and i REALLY dont wanna change it!

Hehehehehe. Yep messy diapers are fun to wear but the clean up is a bit time consuming.

this sucks, no matter how good i am il l alway get sh** in return. and no matter how nice i am to them, ill never get a kind caring girl friend

???

Don't worry Kiru. You'll find a girl for ya eventually. At this point in high school most girls have yet to realize that the jocks aren't going to get them anywhere and will just end up breaking there hearts. They'll come around eventually. I bet ya when you have a high school reunion someday there'll be a girl or two saying they should have gone out with you instead of that jock.

thanks for the vote of confidence lig, life seems to be handing me a rough card...

Hey kiru, I know I can't quite contest with that, but I can contest in lonliness...I know I've got Pae, but I dun got any real life friends to hang with since the school change...I'm sorry you dun got anyone but it's still tough, I know

Lig's right Kiru. High School is pretty much BS. Stick with it and when you're done you'll find people who are much more accepting of you as you are. I know that's kinda cliche, but it's true.

so i keep having z-dreams, and i cant begin to count them, then they stop, now im having sad dreams where i literaly wake up crying

If you need someone to talk to still about your dreams, anyone can be available to on the forum.^_^

Try a dream analasys book.

Hi Kiru,

Listen, I'm no expert in psychology or anything, but to me, your dreams are what I refer to as after images of the subconscious.

I don't know the specifics of your situation in Real Life, but I gather that you're feeling rather lonely, right? You said that you couldn't find a loving girlfriend.

Like I said, I'm no professional, but here's what I gathered. Dreams often are basically "leftovers" of what we feel during the day on a daily basis. Keep in mind though that when you sleep, your brain works differently from when you're awake. But my guess is that your feeling of loneliness made you wish for a really close friend. The movie setting of your original dreams with Zan were maybe your brains image of a situation involving you and a close friend. I gather you are quite close to Zan as friends and maybe your mind picked him out randomly. The movie setting maybe being a rather typical setting for bonding, your brain may have picked that setting out. Now, I'm not insinuating anything. Like I said the mind works differently and sometimes picks out random bits and pieces from all it knows that puts them together.

Now, later, I guess you've come to terms with yourself in terms of your relations with people. But then, that may have stirred even more emotions. Emotions maybe you haven't sorted out yet and you end up with dreams that come out with rather negative emotions, hence, your sad dreams.

Like I said, my word really isn't worth much, but I think that you're ultimately stressed. You want someone to be with, but finding no one, you feel sad and lonely. Then you started having dreams because your subconscious started showing maybe some form of desires through the dreams but that began to scare you. You also felt down because consciously, you realize that what you felt may or may not have been correct.

I think you're just having a lot of mixed emotions, which lead to a form of stress. I think you feel, but then sometimes get scared of what you're feeling. Then, because of that, your self-confidence might start to take hits because you might be scared of parts of yourself.

Ultimately, I'd recommend you maybe find a way to relax one day and just think it over. Take it from top to bottom and if you don't know where to start, take it one step at a time from anywhere and work you way across. You don't have to do this alone either. You can choose someone here or anywhere. But the important thing is that you be open. You have to talk about how you feel and then, you have to come to terms with yourself.

I think you're just facing a lot of mixed emotions and stress. It's not an easy cycle to break because we sometimes don't know where to start. I say it doesn't matter where as long as you do.

Find someone you trust, someone who will understand you and talk with them. About anything really. If it's your dreams, if it's something that you're feeling down about, talk about it. It helps.

Hope you start feeling better soon.

I couldn't have said better. And also just having what seems like a crush in a dream doesn't nececarily mean you have one in real life. The subconcious outs together dreams like a puzzle, but not all the peices fit together. You may be wanting a loving girlfriend and a friend at the same time, your brain can't find an image fora girlfriend so it justs sticks it with the friend image. I'm not a psychologyst or anything, but dreams are basically the only way to view our raw emotions without logic kicking in, that;s why it's crucial to not "overthink" dreams, the brain tries to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense unless every thought is deconstructed and counted as a seperate acount.

i need to check myself into a mental ward